{"id":7264,"date":"2018-04-26T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-04-26T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/nekolik-vtipu-o-stavbach-a-architektech\/"},"modified":"2018-04-26T10:00:00","modified_gmt":"2018-04-26T08:00:00","slug":"nekolik-vtipu-o-stavbach-a-architektech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/nekolik-vtipu-o-stavbach-a-architektech\/","title":{"rendered":"N\u011bkolik vtip\u016f o stavb\u00e1ch a architektech"},"content":{"rendered":"

Zn\u00e1m\u00e9 r\u010den\u00ed \u201eje tu pr\u00e1ce jako na kostele\u201c by dost dob\u0159e mohlo zn\u00edt \u201eje tu pr\u00e1ce jako na stavb\u011b\u201c. Tu spoustu d\u0159iny, hluku a prachu je tak pot\u0159eba \u010das od \u010dasu trochu zleh\u010dit \u0161petkou humoru<\/strong>. Proto jsme vybrali p\u00e1r v\u00edce i m\u00e9n\u011b zn\u00e1m\u00fdch vtip\u016f ze stava\u0159sk\u00e9ho prost\u0159ed\u00ed, se kter\u00fdmi se s v\u00e1mi pod\u011bl\u00edme. A nezapomn\u011bli jsme ani na architekty a projektanty<\/strong> \u2013 jejich pr\u00e1ce toti\u017e taky mnohdy nen\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd med.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jak u\u017e to b\u00fdv\u00e1, zdrojem v\u011bt\u0161iny vtip\u016f je mnohdy slo\u017eit\u00e1 spolupr\u00e1ce a nepochopen\u00ed mezi r\u016fzn\u00fdmi profesemi:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pro\u010d nejsou v nebi \u017e\u00e1dn\u00ed architekti?
\nProto\u017ee Je\u017e\u00ed\u0161 byl tesa\u0159.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jak vypad\u00e1 in\u017een\u00fdrova no\u010dn\u00ed m\u016fra?
\nJako architekt\u016fv sen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mlad\u00fd zam\u011bstnanec je prvn\u00ed den v pr\u00e1ci a hned se ho ujme mistr: \u201eTak tady je ko\u0161t\u011b, b\u011b\u017e a zame\u0165 plac.\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eAle j\u00e1 jsem in\u017een\u00fdr!\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eAjo,\u201c po\u0161kr\u00e1be se mistr na hlav\u011b, \u201etak j\u00e1 ti to uk\u00e1\u017eu.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doktor m\u016f\u017ee svoje omyly poh\u0159b\u00edt. Architekt m\u016f\u017ee sv\u00fdm klient\u016fm doporu\u010dit, aby vysadili b\u0159e\u010d\u0165an.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jak pozn\u00e1te architekta na prvn\u00ed pohled?<\/p>\n

Po\u0159\u00e1d nos\u00ed \u010dernou. A bude ji nosit a\u017e do doby, kdy n\u011bkdo p\u0159ijde s tmav\u0161\u00ed barvou.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jak zaru\u010den\u011b p\u0159ivedete architekta k nep\u0159\u00ed\u010detnosti?<\/p>\n

Oslovte ho \u201epane in\u017een\u00fdre\u201c.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n


\n L\u00e1mete si hlavu s d\u00e1rky? \u010cern\u00fdm oble\u010den\u00edm se u architektky v\u017edy tref\u00edte do \u010dern\u00e9ho.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Architekt, um\u011blec a in\u017een\u00fdr diskutuj\u00ed o tom, jestli je lep\u0161\u00ed \u017eena, nebo milenka.
\nArchitekt \u0159\u00edk\u00e1: \u201eTrval\u00fd vztah se \u017eenou tvo\u0159\u00ed pevn\u00e9 z\u00e1klady pro stabiln\u00ed \u017eivot.\u201c<\/p>\n

Um\u011blec oponuje: \u201eVztah s milenkou dod\u00e1v\u00e1 \u017eivotu v\u00e1\u0161e\u0148 a prvek tajemna.\u201c<\/p>\n

In\u017een\u00fdr se usm\u011bje a \u0159\u00edk\u00e1: \u201eJ\u00e1 bych bral oboj\u00ed. Kdy\u017e m\u00e1\u0161 \u017eenu a milenku, ob\u011b t\u011b stejn\u011b neust\u00e1le podez\u00edraj\u00ed, \u017ee jsi s tou druhou, tak\u017ee m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 j\u00edt na plac a kone\u010dn\u011b v klidu ud\u011blat kus pr\u00e1ce.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pesimista: \u201eSklenice je nap\u016fl pr\u00e1zdn\u00e1.\u201c
\nOptimista: \u201eSklenice je nap\u016fl pln\u00e1.\u201c<\/p>\n

In\u017een\u00fdr: \u201eSklenice je dvakr\u00e1t v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed, ne\u017e je pot\u0159eba.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Prostitutka stoj\u00ed u silnice. Zastav\u00ed u n\u00ed auto, z okna se vyklon\u00ed \u0159idi\u010d a pt\u00e1 se:
\n\u201eCo v\u0161echno ud\u011bl\u00e1\u0161 za dva tis\u00edce?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eCokoliv!\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eTak sedej, jedeme betonovat.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jednoho r\u00e1na do\u0161la parta stavebn\u00edch d\u011bln\u00edk\u016f pracuj\u00edc\u00edch na stavb\u011b d\u00e1lnice do pr\u00e1ce, kdy\u017e v tom zjistili, \u017ee si zapomn\u011bli v\u0161echny lopaty. \u0160\u00e9f party proto zavolal do kancel\u00e1\u0159e, kde po sd\u011blen\u00ed probl\u00e9mu dostal tuto odpov\u011b\u010f: \u201eNebojte, p\u00e1r lopat v\u00e1m po\u0161leme. Zat\u00edm se op\u0159ete jeden o druh\u00e9ho.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nab\u00eddka pr\u00e1ce v novin\u00e1ch: <\/strong>U\u017eijte si vody, slunce a p\u00edsku! \u017divotopis pos\u00edlejte na e-mail: prace@betonarka.cz<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dva elektrik\u00e1\u0159i, Pepa a Lojza, spolu pracovali na stavb\u011b. Pepa pracuje vysoko na le\u0161en\u00ed, kdy\u017e v tom si omylem u\u0159\u00edzne ucho. Tak za\u0159ve dol\u016f na Lojzu: \u201eHej, u\u0159\u00edzl jsem si ucho! Nen\u00ed tam n\u011bkde?!\u201c<\/p>\n

Za malou chvilku \u0159ve Lojza zp\u00e1tky: \u201eJe tohle tvoje ucho?\u201c
\nPepa se pod\u00edv\u00e1 dol\u016f a \u0159\u00edk\u00e1: \u201eNene, za t\u00edm m\u00fdm byla tu\u017eka.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n


\nO \u010dem se tito elektrik\u00e1\u0159i bav\u00ed? Nejsp\u00ed\u0161 \u0159e\u0161\u00ed z\u00e1hadu ztracen\u00e9ho ucha.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Svalnat\u00fd mlad\u00fd d\u011bln\u00edk se na stavb\u011b neust\u00e1le chlubil t\u00edm, \u017ee je siln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e kdokoliv z jeho koleg\u016f. Obzvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 si pak dob\u00edral jednoho star\u0161\u00edho d\u011bln\u00edka. Jednoho dne ale star\u00e9mu d\u011bln\u00edkovi dojde trp\u011blivost a pov\u00edd\u00e1: \u201eVsad\u00edm se s tebou o t\u00fddenn\u00ed v\u00fdplatu, \u017ee dok\u00e1\u017eu v t\u011bchhle kole\u010dk\u00e1ch odv\u00e9zt na druhou stranu stavby n\u011bco, co v nich ty nezvl\u00e1dne\u0161 dov\u00e9zt zp\u00e1tky.\u201c
\nSil\u00e1k se na n\u011bj pod\u00edv\u00e1 a \u0159\u00edk\u00e1: \u201eNo, tak to chci vid\u011bt. Plat\u00ed!\u201c<\/p>\n

Sta\u0159\u00edk doveze kole\u010dka a pov\u00edd\u00e1: \u201eDob\u0159e. Tak si nasedni.\u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pozor, toto u\u017e nen\u00ed vtip<\/h2>\n

V\u011bt\u0161inou svoji pr\u00e1ci bereme velice v\u00e1\u017en\u011b, proto jsme cht\u011bli celou problematiku trochu odleh\u010dit. Douf\u00e1me tedy, \u017ee v\u00e1s aspo\u0148 n\u011bkter\u00fd z n\u00e1mi vybran\u00fdch stava\u0159sk\u00fdch vtip\u016f pobavil.<\/p>\n

Hled\u00e1te n\u011bkoho, kdo by v\u00e1m postavil d\u016fm, kancel\u00e1\u0159e nebo sklad? Ozv\u011bte se n\u00e1m<\/a> \u2013  k projekt\u016fm p\u0159istupujeme zodpov\u011bdn\u011b, ale v\u017edy s \u00fasm\u011bvem na tv\u00e1\u0159i.<\/p>\n

\nZdroj obr\u00e1zk\u016f: unsplash.com, pixabay.com, pxhere.com<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Zn\u00e1m\u00e9 r\u010den\u00ed \u201eje tu pr\u00e1ce jako na kostele\u201c by dost dob\u0159e mohlo zn\u00edt \u201eje tu pr\u00e1ce jako na stavb\u011b\u201c. Tu spoustu d\u0159iny, hluku a prachu je tak pot\u0159eba \u010das od \u010dasu trochu zleh\u010dit \u0161petkou humoru<\/strong>. Proto jsme vybrali p\u00e1r v\u00edce i m\u00e9n\u011b zn\u00e1m\u00fdch vtip\u016f ze stava\u0159sk\u00e9ho prost\u0159ed\u00ed, se kter\u00fdmi se s v\u00e1mi pod\u011bl\u00edme. A nezapomn\u011bli jsme ani na architekty a projektanty<\/strong> \u2013 jejich pr\u00e1ce toti\u017e taky mnohdy nen\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd med.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6842,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7264"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7264\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6842"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wachal.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}